Dear Cameron,
You and I need to start over today.
On our way back up to our hotel room after dropping off Daddy at work you refused to get off the elevator. My arms were full carrying Andrew. William darted off onto our top floor and you ... just sat there. I tried to get you, but the doors shut carrying us down to the basement to pick up the next customer. I was ticked, to say the least, and worrying about William up on our floor. As we finally made our way up towards our floor again I could hear him saying "mommy! mommy!" He was fine. I was mad. I picked you up by your upper arm and thrust you out onto the hall floor, left you there and went to open our door 10 feet away. When I looked back at you your sweet face showed me that you knew mommy was very mad at you, but you had absolutely no idea why. You were just so, so tired and wanted to be held, I'm sure. I'm sorry, baby.
Later mommy was busy nursing Andrew AND trying to help William get onto the potty. You came into the bathroom with your cup, probably to ask for more strawberries (your favorite food). You dropped your cup. It shattered. So did mommy's patience. I thrust you out of the bathroom, angry and hoping that none of us would find a shard in our foot. I know you didn't mean to. I know mommy was an idiot to give you a glass cup (SOON we'll have all our little-ones friendly dishes!). I'm so sorry, my sweet baby.
You've been so tired lately (we all have). Your life has been completely inconsistent for these past 7 weeks. You went from sleeping in your crib every night to sleeping in a different place every few days... the floor, closets, new big hotel beds, fold out couches. Really, even with your now-standard 5am wake up call-out to mom and dad, you've done amazing. It's tough being almost 2. I'm proud of you. Life will stabalize soon. You'll have your own bed again. Your mommy will stabilize soon too.
I promise to put down whatever I'm doing next time you bring me a book and demand me to "read it!" I will get you as many strawberries as you want (and change the resulting diapers). I hope to always have a bottle for you when you say "ba-ba, mommy!" I hope I never forget how adorable you are when we're at the pool (by far your favorite activity) and you float/crawl around and look up at me every 30 seconds and say, "I'm mimming, mommy!" And I commit to take more pictures-- of your beautiful eyes, of you dancing up on your toes, of you with your precious ba-ba and blanket, and of you 'mimming'.
You are my joy. I'll be more patient. I love you.
Love, Mommy
(Dear readers-- sorry if there are spelling errors. I depend heavily on spell-check, but it only wants to work in German right now. Not. Helpful.)
9 comments:
Here's a hug. For you and your boys.
oh my goodness, I can only imagine the stress and crankiness that you all are experiencing after the international move. Your poor little guys will get to feeling better soon, and you'll be all settled in in no time!!! Good luck, and we all have rough days sometimes. And...kids are really resilient :-)
Rough day, those suck. But I am sure he knows that you love him and all mommies have start over days, even me with only 1 kid.
Aww, poor li'l guy! And poor mommie too! I hope everything settles down soon!
This was so sweet. Just so you know, you're not alone in the losing patience department. You're a great mom and we miss your family! Hugs!
You're a good mom. Some days are just meant to be do-overs. Miss you guys!
Could I come and give the biggest hug ever!! You must have been reading my mind from today and yesterday...I need more patience. You are a great mommy! Love you lots!
I've been having days like this lately. Seriously, though, the elevator thing! I think my family would not do well with an elevator.
I didn't know you were posting! For some reason your blog wasn't bringing up your current posts! I am so happy to hear some current things from you! I miss you my friend!
I had a really similar day with Talia. Luckily there are always tomorrows. Hugs to you!
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